Thoughts...


Time...

Mi-e dor de zilele insorite
Fara griji si fara dor
Mi-e dor d-atingerea naturii
Si de zambetul culorilor.



Thinking...

Nu am renuntat si nu voi renunta
La ceea ce imi e dat sa astept,
La ceea ce imi e dat sa sufar
Si-astept caci, fara tine..zilele si noptiile nu mai au culoare.

Soul passion...

Sentimentele s-amesteca,
Pasiunea se aprinde
Te rog n-o mai stinge,
Lasa-ma sa te cuprind...
Sufletul sa ti-l alint.

Cand stelele s-aprind...cand luna rasare
Cerul e albastru pur
Priveste in sus, caci lumea e prea mare
Si de ma vei gasi...aduna-ma in amintirea ta,
...nu ma uita niciodata~

*Now listening:Millenium-Fata sihastra

~Zbor~

Dincolo de timp
Dincolo de soarta...

Un vis in armonie
Un suflet zbuciumat,
De mii si mii de ganduri
In enigme-ntrupat.

E inima ce moare
Demult de dorul lor
E sufletul ce plange
La poarta dorintelor.

E setea ce s-aprinde
De zi cu zi, in zori
Cu amintiri se stinge
In urma stelelor...

Song:Miyuki Nakajima (中島みゆき)

Beyond time
The Keeper:
Fragments of life
Someday, somewhere your soul will remember
00:20



I'm tired of thinking...I don't wanna think anymore.All my life was about thinking and now I'm sick of it.
I can't sleep because I am always thinking about something, I can't sleep because my mind keeps processing information from some place I don't know.
I just wanna sleep and stop thinking...be happy without thinking, without worrying and questioning myself about every little damn thing...

Sometimes I feel like I can't do anything, that I'm useless and non-valuable...but somehow I just have to stop thinking about this.I need to shut my mind down and sleep.
But I can't because thoughts are always coming straight to my mind and I can escape.I've tried but I failed...I failed so many times that I can even remeber and I'm tired of failing.
I become inhuman and I think like a robot, like a man who's brain was replaced with a machine.I loose myself in thoughts and I'm a prisoner;all over I look I see people worrying, people crying, people suffering, people shouting, people killing...so much hate and pain....
I'm a prisoner of my thoughts, a prisoner of my own mind and no matter how hard I try I still can't find a reason for me to go on...
It's hard...I'm blocked, I can't escape, I'm suffocating here and it's pretty dark and cold....But after all, I just wanna know why am I still thinking?Am i alive...I am dead?I still can't find an explanation for my thoughts...

Why do people always think about something?Can't they just empty their head and live without worries and problems...I thought that they were right when they said that love is all it matters, that love can save me...love is the reason why they are always thinking about something or about someone.
But they lied to me and she cheated on me, she played with me like an useless toy and I'm lost now...she left me closed in her memories and now I can't escape anymore.I was a foul to belive them, she was a foul to leave me with my thoughts again.She took my soul and all the things I've gained in it and now I'm empty inside;no dreams to be reached, no love to be loved...but she still forgot something to take from me:my painful thoughts and the other part of me that she never bothered to discover.She forgot and she left with a note in her hands.I still remember those words, those things that tasted like happiness...but was I really happy with such a soul next to me?...
See, words are falling on me, they try to harm me, to kill me in silent pleasure of loneliness.
I'm done thinking of her....I see crossing into my eyes memories and pictures of past...some of them I can barely remember, but somehow I can feel them, I can sense them like all the good things come to an end and they wait for a new start, a new reborn of an lost and forgotten soul.But I didn't knew she was just a ghost passing by in my unknown existence and then i let her steal my soul...I just couldn't resist, I was weak in front of her power.If I only knew that, if someone whispered to my ear this hidden secret I would turn back time, I would have hold here in my arms and with tears in my eyes kissed her trembling lips once then turned my back to this unfaithful destiny.And that kiss would have last for an eternity...

But in the end I'm sure that I will never forget to...think...about...

FIn~

If you wander off to far, my LOVE will get you home

If you follow the alone star, my Love will get you home

If you ever find yourself lost and all alone

Get back on your feet and think of me

My Love will get you home, boy

My Love will get you home...


If the bright lights blind your eyes

My Love will get you home

If your troubles break your strike

My Love will get you home...


If you ever feel ashamed, my Love will get you home

Whenever is only you to blame, my Love will get you home

Get back on your feet and think of me...

My Love will get you gome!~

Inside a girl's heart~

Love is a strange connection, a strange alchemy of feelings and confusion.Just imagine:you are staying next to a boy, a cute and talkative and for a few moments you begin to sense his feelings, his smile, his first friendly kiss on your cheek and his perfume floating and surrounding you with a friendly atmosphere.A woman has special ways of interpreting a man, she has that kind of good intuition and a little machine inside that rejects or accept men around them.Miraculous no?!Well it should be...

Then you start to think about him, even that for the first time you had that feeling of hating him.You smile at his jokes, you smile when he smiles, you listen to him because he is proud of his own words and without a reason you feel proud too.

Is this love or just a stupid feeling that turns you on and then leaves you without a clue?!It may be a way of reading inside a man's heart, inside his true face, inside his stupidish smile and acts...But it's a nice feeling and plus, you don't ever forget his perfume...good for lonely nights...


Now listening:Southern All Stars - Tsunami

Again i'm falling in some kind of deep thoughts and I can't find an explication for all my dreams, for all my feelings.It's a feeling of desperation...or I could blame the weather no?...It's raining again and i'm kind of emotional...The storm is so mad,cruel, heartless but all this things with a good reason behind...it's our fault, human fault~

It's again my words against yours
My soul against your feelings
My own convictions against the world
And i'm lost again.


I thought the world would be a place
For those who are lost
A place for my head
Or a place in my mind...

Now listening:Southern All Stars - Sea of Love

Sometimes you feel empty and lonely inside...you feel like the hole world is cheating on you and you can escape of this mess, world mess...

Deep feelings of sadness and hate come in your mind embracing you with a wind of lonelyness and cofusion:Where am I?WHy?Why....

You start to think about dead people and put yourself in their person and take the right or the wrong decisions...or maybe just get lost in that wide world of inconcious things and people...

Where could you find help and love...where could you find your peaceful and dramatic path...where is that lost paradise of your mind?Inside of you maybe...still...

When you open your eyes in the morning you think to yourself:today it will be better than yesterday...but, is that so?And then you take a few steps and all the problems fall against you again like they did yesterday, the day after yesterday...and like they did since you realised them.

Sometimes you dare to ask yourself:What do I do here?And what should I do...if I can, if I want, if I dream?!But then you become useless to everyone and you begin to lose heart...to lose those hopes that kept you alive for so long...here comes the theatral end of good things...darkness embracing your 'perfect,lovely' life....

But then you see a light, a beautiful pure light coming from somewhere...you don't know where...and that light is floathing around you bringing back your memories, your hopes, your dreams...and you start to wonder if this is a miracle...or if somehow you deserve a second chance, a second way to what you used to be?

And Yes,,,you deserve that, everyone deserves it and so do you...Shake your head , raise your shoulders and keep going on your own path and finally you will reach the supreme happiness...here it is smiling at you a little angel with his pure, delicate wings...touch him and love him and you will receive your human soul back...

Then learn to love the world and every single thing of it:leaves, trees, people, insects, feelings, animals, yourself...and everything that has a soul and a shape...

...you know what they say:Love is from God, and sometimes love is the only thing that can help you~Love is the light of day, and the deepest dark of the night...Keep your soul alive~

Now listening:Whitesnake - Love Ain't No Stranger~

Wake me up, wake me up when you come back

I'll be here, i'll be waiting here for you!

I can be your best friend

I can be your lease friend

I can be your boyfriend

But i don't wanna be your ex-friend.

Don't you know

This guy who sang a song

about the highest common factor and so?

It's kind of how this is I'll tell you

what it is about all your questions you have asked...

Korede godo me no wakare banashidesu, demo konkai wa dokoka chigaundesu.Itsumono "nipoun, Kiokusoushitsu" mo nazeka konkai wa kikanaindesu.

"Mouyada" tte omoteitannara, soredemo boku wa iikedo,

"Sayonara" tte itta no wa kimi nano ni, nande naita no?

Wake me up, wake me up

Wake me up, wake me up, wake me up, when you come back.

If that answer is "no", what should I do?Should I cry? Should I die?

Or go crazy and then flyBetter yet should I kiss myself donmai.

Now come back, now come back, now come back, I'll take it back.I'll be here, I'll be here, I'll waiting here for you.
x.X

Lost for e.v.e.r...

Ti-ai lasat capul in jos,

Si-erai singur si trist

Si ai murit si te-ai pierdut

In alta lume, intunecata...si e frig.

Aripile ti s-au frant si ai cazut

Si nimeni nu te-a ajutat

Si ai oftat si-ai plans

Dar nimeni nu te-a auzit...nu i-a pasat.

Acum mie dor, mie dor de tine

Si nu te stiu, nu te-am stiut

Si ai pierit insingurat

De dorul altora te-ai curmat.

Stai singur si ploaia te ingroapa

Privindu-ti trupul fara viata

Si eu am murit cu tine,

Si totusi este trist in lume...

Now listening:Elisa-Stranger~

Totul cade in jurul meu...peste tot e intuneric~Nu vad nici o mana intinsa sau vreun loc cald, vesel...

Vad oamenii veseli dar plini de ura si invidie, vad lumea in alb si negru si totusi nu inteleg...d ce eu?

Am vrut sa zambesc dar ei mi-au luat zambetul...am vrut sa iubesc dar ei mi-au luat inima...si cerul odata cu ei~M-au lasat goala dar plina de iluzii mincinoase care se tot invart in mintea mea...si ma pierd..

Sufletul mie gol si plin de dispret...un aspru si crunt dispret...lumea nu mai are culoare si se pierde incetul cu incetul in negura infinita a Universului~

Si totusi de ce eu?

Am vrut sa cred ca totul e bine si ca am si eu o valoare adevarata...dar NU, nu a fost asa...Mi-au aratat ca eu visam si defapt totul era doar o simpla amagire...

Si imi aduc aminte:"...ai talent, esti buna, ne place ce faci"....erau doar cuvinte, iluzii si nimic mai mult...si-i trist, prea trist si nu mai suport~

Traiesc intr=un loc unde nimeni nu ma stie,nimeni nu ma cunoaste, nimanui nu-i pasa...si totusi de ce eu?

Vreau sa fiu libera...sa fug de propria-mi fiinta, sa ma parasesc si sa ma duc departe...dupa nori sa ma ascund si sa tac....

Dar NU, nu pot, mie imposibil...sa inca simplu un profund ReGrEt...Si totusi de ce eu?~

Now listening:Elisa-Rainbow